There's a girl,
We see each other every day,
But I'm just too shy,
And I can't really even bring myself to say,
"Hello, how are you today?
Lovely weather, by the way,
If I was with you, I'd be happy to pay!"
... For dinner!

She's so cute,
She's got a little button head.
And I try to be cool,
But I just cannot seem to follow through.
I just can't find a way to,
Let her know that I'll be true,
So I know what I must do...

I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod,
That's how I'm gonna win her hand.
I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod,
And I'm a thirty-eight-year-old man.

When I've won the Rock Eisteddfod,
She won't leave me on the shelf.
I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod,
Win the Rock Eisteddfod by myself,
With no-one else,
On stage by myself.

My dramatic concept,
Will be a post-apocalyptic nightmare.
Made of cardboard boxes,
And foil taped to my stack hat.
She'll be impressed!
And my costume will be the best,
When the curtain rises, I'll be dressed,
In fluoro bike shorts and a fur vest.

I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod,
That's how I'm gonna win her hand.
I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod,
And I'm a thirty-eight-year-old man.

When I've won the Rock Eisteddfod,
She won't leave me on the shelf.
I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod,
Win the Rock Eisteddfod by myself.

And as for music, I'll only choose it,
If it's got a serious environmental message.
I'll start with "Hungry... like the wolf",
And then, "It's Raining... Men".

I hope it works,
I hope she falls in love with me.
My backup plan,
Is to leave these rookie amateurs behind.
And I'll really blow her mind,
And I'll build my Jazz Ballet rep,
I'll go the logical next step...

I'm gonna win the Eurovision,
Be a star and make her see.
Singing in a foreign language,
Maybe then she'll understand me.

When I've won the Eurovision,
She won't leave me on the shelf.
I'm gonna win the Eurovision,
Then I finally won't be by myself.
Row boats by myself,
See-saws by myself,
Eating two ice-creams by myself...